Till I Get Over You
by ShibbySpunkyChick
Summary: He deserves for me to love him the way I love you" RemusGinny
1. Till I Get Over You

AN: Another hopeless attempt at Remus/Ginny. This is a little different from my other fics, but I hope that you guys enjoy it! 

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, JK does and "Till I Get Over You" isn't mine either, it belongs to Michelle Branch.

AN2: Just a quick reference to the lyrics. "Chaque fois que tu ton va, je pretend que tu fais bien" is French and it translates to "Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay"

Chapter 1: Til I Get Over You

_Every time I feel alone_

_I can blame it on you_

_And I do, oh_

You've thrown me completely and totally out of your life. I thought that we were the perfect couple- even if we were not the most conventional of all them all. I love you with every part of myself and you've just pushed it aside as if it were nothing. We are broken and quite frankly I have no idea how to pick up my pieces.

The reason I feel so alone is all your fault. Every stab of pain I feel, every longing glance and quiet sobs happen because of you. My heart's broken, so broken that I don't think I'll ever be able to fix it. Maybe deep down inside I don't want to. As if it's my last way of clinging to you.

_You got me like a loaded gun_

_Golden sun and skies so blue_

And the sad thing is that you still brighten my world whenever you come waltzing back to me. Whenever you smile, my heart leaps. I may not have experienced as much as you, but you are like a drug to me. Intoxicating yet dangerous. When you come near me with your brown eyes twinkling merrily, I am floating on Cloud 9.

I don't know how to stop this. I'm so deliriously happy when you're here that I can't seem to remind myself of how you've broken my heart. It doesn't seem to matter when you come close to me and whisper promises in my ear. It doesn't matter because you complete me. Scary, isn't it?

_We both know that we want it_

_And we both know you left me no choice_

There are days when I know that you love me. I know that you long for me as desperately as I long for you. You wish that we could have forever, that nothing would come between us. But they do and you can't understand why. I am left to handle it, to figure out why it's happened to us.

I know why we can't be together. It's everything that you've done to me. All the hurt and sorrow you've caused is why I have to leave. The way you'll hang on to my every word one minute then coldly shut me out the next. There's nothing else I can do but this. When you left the last time I let you go willingly even if I cried for days afterwards. Letting you go is all I could do.

_(Chaque fois que tu ton va)_

_You just bring me down_

_(je pretend que tu fais bien)_

_So I'm counting my tears till I get over you_

I'm trying to get over you and move on with my life. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do- I don't even know if I'll succeed. I see you everywhere. Your presence lingers and weakens my resolve to let go. It starts dragging me back down to what once was.

I was barely able to let you go, now I'm holding on to my strength to stay away from you. What happened is in the past and I can't bring it back. What we had was beautiful and I wish every day that we could have it back. But you walk on by and pretend that nothing's happened. What's a witch to do?

_Sometimes I watch the world go by_

_I wonder what it's like_

_To wake up every single day_

_Smile on your face_

_You never tried_

Harry has asked me out several times now, did you know? Dear, sweet Harry. He's been so good to me through all of this. He's given me time to grieve over you, but now he's beginning to take me out places, he's showing me a whole world I didn't know could exist. Harry's been amazing and nothing short of loving to me.

The part about him that awes me is that he's actually making our romance public. In fact, he just told my family yesterday at dinner that we're together. He just stood up, clanked his glass and informed everybody at the table that he loves me and we're dating. I sat there stunned, unable to comprehend what just happened. Harry wasn't trying to hide our relationship.

My mum was so happy for me, as were they all. They all hugged him and welcomed him properly into the family as my suitor. He's always been so close to us that it's easy for them to accept him. My mum had tears in her eyes as she kissed him on the cheek and declared that she'd never been so happy for either of us in her entire life.

_We both know we can't change it_

_But we both know we'll just have to face it_

_(Chaque fois que tu ton va)_

_You just bring me down_

_(Je pretend que tu fais bien)_

_So I'm counting my tears 'til I get over you_

They would have done the same thing for you had you been in Harry's place. If you had had the courage to tell everybody about us. But you didn't, and now Harry's in your place. He's incorporating himself into my life. This man has done more for me than you ever did.

Oh yes, you gave me gifts and loved me with all you had. But Harry's gone beyond that. He's made an effort to show our relationship to everybody. He isn't ashamed of what's between us, he's proud! With his messy black hair and sparkling green eyes he's slowly changing my life, and healing my wounds. Harry understands that I'm hurting, and he's trying to help me.

_If only I could give you up_

_But why would I want to let you off this soapbox baby?_

_We both know that we want it_

_But we both know you left me no choice_

I saw you last week at Order headquarters. Harry was standing beside me, and when you looked up an unreadable expression came over your face before you hurried out of the room. I've tried to decipher what went across your face but it's beyond me. Harry simply drew me into his embrace and held me until I pulled away. He knows everything that conspired between us. I told him when we first got together so that there'd be no misunderstandings between him and I.

Seeing you hurts still. Whenever you're in the room my breath gets caught in my throat and I have to squeeze Harry's hand for reassurance. It's still surreal that he actually loves me. He's been nothing but supportive and I suppose that in time I'll grow to feel for him what he obviously feels for me. I'm still healing from the blinding flash of lightning that you and I shared.

_We both know that I'm not over you_

_I'm not over you_

I feel guilty because although I'm with Harry now, I'm still in love with you. I may try to tell myself otherwise but my heart knows. Your presence still makes it flutter and I get weak in the knees. It isn't fair to myself, or you, or Harry. He deserves for me to love him the way I love you, and you deserve to be free of me for good.

Perhaps someday I'll get over you. One day I'll be able to look into Harry's eyes and tell him honestly that I love him more than anything else on this earth. One day I'll let you go and move on with my life for good. But it is not today. And until then, I'll simply let myself be healed by Harry and slowly, ever so slowly, I'll set our love free.


	2. One Of These Days

AN: A continuation of Til' I Get Over You- more Remus/Ginny for you! Now don't kill me at the end of this chapter, because I've decided to turn this into a trilogy of sorts. Please review! 

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter- JK does! The lyrics to "One Of These Days" belong to Michelle Branch.

Chapter 2: One Of These Days

_I didn't notice_

_But I didn't care_

_I tried being honest_

_But that left me nowhere_

I knew when you left that it would hurt. I knew the pain would be there for a long time, but I also foolishly believed that it would subside over time. I thought I would get over you and move on with my life. You had Harry, and I believed that seeing your happiness would be enough for me. Obviously I won't win any awards for being one of the smarter blokes in the universe.

I knew it was coming. All the signs pointed to it, but I ignored them. Perhaps in some way, I didn't want to see them, didn't want to believe what was happening. But to put blinders on is never the best solution. Because when the news finally came out, it hit me harder than I've ever been hit in my life. The world literally stopped turning for a moment when Harry announced your happy news.

_I watched the station_

_Saw the bus pulling through_

_And I don't mind saying_

_A part of me left with you_

You, Virginia Anne Weasley, love of my life, were planning to marry my best friend's son. All the emotions I'd carefully stowed away came rushing back and I had trouble keeping a straight face. My concentration went solely on breathing normally. Nobody noticed, they were all busy congratulating you. And why should they have? I was the one who chose to keep our relationship secret, chose to end, chose to destroy what little happiness I had left in my life.

I felt your gaze on me, but I struggled to meet it. I'd been carefully hiding from your view for months- I couldn't bear looking into those chocolate brown eyes of yours. I finally met your look, and for a moment only the two of us existed. Your eyes were full of pain, pain of what might have been. They pleaded with me to understand. I couldn't, and so I broke our gaze. You recoiled slightly, but then turned your attentions to your well wishers. And I was left sitting alone once again.

_One of these days_

_I won't be afraid of staying with you_

_I hope and I pray_

_Waiting to find a way back to you_

_'Cause that's where I'm home_

After the meeting, I escaped to the library. Nobody ever went in there, it was dark and dusty and pretty much useless. I used it as my sanctuary, a place to ponder and contemplate. I sat in an armchair by the fireplace and simply watched the flames. I wasn't waiting for anything really, just thinking over your engagement, and where everything went so terribly wrong. I tried to understand why you and Harry chose that time to be married, and to some extent I did.

The war was in earnest at the time, and our outlook was bleak. You were young and in love, and believed that waiting for the end of the war wasn't such a good idea anymore. Nobody knew if they were going to survive to the end. A wedding in the middle of the war was better than losing Harry and never being married to him. I understood that, but I still was stuck on you. I tried beating around the bush, but it didn't matter.

_Did I make you nervous?_

_Did I ask for too much?_

_Was I not deserving one second of your touch?_

You entered quietly, closing the door behind you and walking slowly to me. You didn't sit in the chair opposite me, simply stood in front of the fire and studied the flames as I just did. Your back was straight and tense, and the light flickered over your pale face. I never thought you more beautiful than that moment.

You turned and faced me, and I saw that pain in your eyes once more. You spoke softly, but there was a conviction in your voice that kept my attention. You told me that you were trying to move on, and that Harry was the best choice. He loved you, and he had promised to take care of you. I listened without interruption, even when you looked at me and said point blank, "I need to do this Remus. He deserves this, and I can't hurt him. I won't do that to him."

Your eyes, your beautiful brown eyes, were pleading with me, and I turned away. "I'm not your keeper Ginny, you do whatever will make you happy." I said. Your features clouded over, and before I could analyze them you sighed and raked your hand through your hands. As you turned away and walked back to the door, you paused at the exit.

"You're invited to the wedding. Harry knows what's happened between us, but he still wants you to be there. You're the only family he has left." You said, and then turning on your heel, you walked out the door.

_One of these days_

_I won't be afraid of staying with you_

_I hope and I pray_

_Waiting to find my way back to you_

_'Cause that's where I'm home_

I wandered around the house for days, thinking your proposition over. The wedding was a hasty one, set only a week after the announcement was made. Molly had it at the Burrow, the safest and biggest place for a celebration besides Hogwarts. I thought it over time and time again, and finally I made my decision. Putting on one of my nicer set of robes, I set out that fateful Saturday morning for the Burrow.

Molly ushered me into the house, her face aglow. She was ecstatic, her baby girl was finally getting married to the boy who she considered one of her own for so long. She told me to sit outside, that I'd arrived just in time to watch the ceremony. I sat in the very back, in the corner where I'd be unnoticeable. Then I waited, waited to watch a ceremony that would break my heart.

The group gathered together was small, only the Inner Circle of the Order and your family. The wedding party was even smaller. Harry stood to the side of Albus Dumbledore, waiting anxiously to see your lovely face walk down the aisle. Ron and Hermione walked arm in arm down the aisle first, as the best man and maid of honor. Hermione's own diamond ring sparkled in the sunlight. They hadn't married yet, but all could see how in love your brother and best friend were. Then everybody stood up, and we watched as your father escorted you down the aisle.

_What would you do if I could have you?_

_Oh if I could_

_I'd let you feel everything I'm thinking_

_Wouldn't that be nice?_

You were smiling and your eyes were focused solely on your groom. As you took your vows, the smile that seemed to cover your entire face never faded. When Harry slipped the ring on your finger and leaned over to kiss you, you met him halfway and wrapped your arms around his neck. He picked you up slightly and when your kiss broke, he swung you around and you laughed merrily. Everybody clapped and smiled with you, and I joined them.

Harry saw me right before I left, and gave me a simple nod. He looked so much like James at the moment, and was so much like him. I nodded back, to acknowledge what I'd handed over to him and then I left. I don't think you ever saw me that day. And I believe that was for the better. That day, your wedding day was for you and Harry, for you to bask in your love and to be merry. My presence wasn't needed.

I sat in my shabby living room, holding a chipped mug full of cocoa and I toasted your nuptials alone in my house that night. I sat and thought of what I'd given up, and what a fool I was. Because it was at that very moment that I'd realized why we ended. It wasn't because of any problems we had, or anything you did. It was only because I was too afraid to be with you. And I thought that perhaps that the day I wouldn't be would come, but it was too late. I had lost you forever.

_One of these days_

_I won't be afraid of staying with you _


	3. She's Like The Wind

AN: The third and final part in this R/G trilogy! Woo, and thanks to all my reviewers for this story and past ones! 

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK and "She's Like The Wind" to Jan Wayne.

Chapter 3: She's Like The Wind

_She's like the wind through my tree_

_She rides the night next to me_

_She leads through the moonlight_

_Only to burn me with the sun_

_She's taken my heart_

_But she doesn't know what she's done_

Remus stood in the back of the crowd, listening silently to the minister's droning. The day around him was bleak- the sky was gray and a dismal wind blew around the graveyard. People surrounding him were don in various clothes of black, all with tissues in their hands and fresh tears on their cheeks. A part of him found the scene sickly ironic. Right when the wizarding world had so much to celebrate, all they could do was mourn the death of one man.

Voldemort had finally been destroyed for good, after years of harsh warfare. Remus smiled bitterly. But everything comes with a price, and the Dark Lord's defeat was no exception. Harry Potter had died just seconds after Voldemort, his life force drained from the spell. The world mourned him as the loss of an icon, a hero of the war, the person they'd all looked to for leadership. But Remus mourned him for different reasons.

_Feel her breath on my face_

_Her body close to me_

_Can't look in her eyes_

_She's out of my league_

Remus mourned for his young lost life. Harry had only been two weeks shy of his twenty-second birthday. He'd been laughing with Ron at headquarters only a day before the Final Battle, planning out which pubs the two best friends would be hitting on his birthday. Remus mourned Harry for Lily and James, despaired that he had met the same fate as his parents.

And of course there was Ginny. Harry had left his bride alone- a widow at the age of twenty, and childless too. Remus knew that they had been planning to have children after the War- they both believed the world was too dangerous to bring a new life into at the moment. They'd been married for three short years, although by all means a very happy few years.

_Just a fool to believe_

_I have anything she needs_

_She's like the wind_

He could see her standing at the front of the congregation, clothed head to toe in black. Her face was blank, as if she was in a daze, but tears streamed down her pale cheeks. Hermione was beside her, hand clasped in her sister-in-law's, the other resting on the slight bulge of her stomach. Ron and herself had been extremely fortunate that the war had ended at the time it did- Hermione was due to give birth to their first child in six months.

Remus' heart ached for the redheaded woman, the only woman he'd loved. The past three years he had been pushing his feelings for her into the darkest corner of his heart- Ginny had made her choice the day she walked down the aisle with his best friend's son. Now, however, he was struggling to restrain the urge to hold her in his arms until her tears were spent. It took all his control to remind himself that she hasn't his anymore- he'd given that right up.

_I look in the mirror and all I see_

_Is a young old man with only a dream_

_Am I only just fooling myself_

_That she'll stop the pain_

_Living without her_

_I'd go insane_

Ginny stared at the grave in front of her, at the mahogany coffin being lowered slowly into the ground. She couldn't believe what was happening- Harry couldn't be dead! Not her dear, sweet Harry, her husband that loved her beyond all measure. He was so vibrant and full of life, how could it possibly be his body lying in the casket?

She felt Hermione's hand tighten on hers and the tears that had come at the beginning of the burial poured faster down her face. But she refused to break down, not in front of all these people. Ginny was strong, and with Hermione in her condition, she couldn't risk upsetting her friend. So she simply bowed her head and willed herself to not fall apart.

_Feel her breath on my face_

_Her body close to me_

_Can't look in her eyes_

_She's out of my league_

When the last dirt was thrown into the grave and the minister bowed his head in respect, Ginny felt herself tear apart just a little bit more. People trailed by her one after the other, murmering their condolences and gripping their hands in hers. Finally, only Hermione and her family were left. Her mother, eyes red and puffy with tears, started to round them all up to go back to the Burrow. When Molly approached her, Ginny shook her head.

"I-I think I want to stay here a bit longer." She whispered, eyes never leaving the headstone in front of her. Ginny felt her mother hesitate, but finally agreed by simply hugging her and placing a kiss on her forehead. She heard her family Disapparte one after the other until she was all by herself. Or so she thought.

_Just a fool to believe_

_I have anything she needs_

_She's like the wind_

She heard his footsteps come up behind her and a familiar tingling traveled up her spine. He stood beside her and silently studied the headstone. Ginny chanced a look at him and saw the pain evident in his usually warm eyes. Turning back to the grave, she heard him clear his throat and his low hoarse voice say, "It's a beautiful headstone Gin. It- I'm sure Harry would have liked it. Though I am a little surprised that Fudge didn't insist on something large and gawdy."

"He wanted that." was her reply. "But I told them to spend the money on something else for Harry. A park, plaque, whatever- but that I wasn't going to bury my husband under some hideous contraption that they wanted."

Remus tentatively took her hand and a shock went through her body. He hadn't touched her in over three years- not even to take her hand. And yet, as he held her hand at that moment, it didn't seem to matter. She could feel him offering himself for her to lean on, and Ginny gladly accepted.

"I loved him." She cried as Remus wrapped his arms around her sobbing form. "And-and I don't know what to do!"

"It's all right Gin." He soothed. "It's all right, I'll take care of you."

_Feel your breath on my face_

_Your body close to me_

_Can't look in your eyes_

_You're out of my league_

And true to his word, Remus did just that. He moved Ginny into his apartment, away from the Burrow and her home that she'd shared with Harry. He knew that she needed time to deal with her grief, to come to terms with what happened, and it was best done away from the memories.

She never spoke of Harry, and he didn't press the matter. Remus would wake up before her every morning and make both of them tea. Ginny would walk into the kitchen blurry-eyed and they'd share a morning cup of tea. It became a ritual, a time that Ginny began to depend on. She would have nightmares, and Remus would simply come into her room and hold her until she stopped crying and wasn't so afraid anymore.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Ginny began to slowly reenter the world. She was slowly getting over Harry, and the anger she sometimes felt toward him for leaving her all alone diminished. She began to realize that Remus still stirred something in her. Ginny wasn't sure what, but it was there.

_Just a fool to believe_

_She's like the wind_

_Just a fool to believe_

_She's like the wind_

Remus watched Ginny as she became the woman she once was, not just a shadow of it. Her nightmares were becoming far and few between, and it was becoming harder and harder for him to fight his attraction to her. He knew that she didn't feel the same way for him the way she once did. She had married Harry, and forgotten him. She deserved more than he could give, but as much as he told himself that, Remus couldn't stop himself from longing for what they had.

Then came the day Hermione gave birth to her baby. Ginny had Flooed herself to the hospital the minute Ron called, with Remus right behind her. They rushed to the maternity wing of St. Mungo's and a nurse directed them to Hermione's room. When they got there, she was sleeping but Ron showed them to the nursery, where rows of babies lay in their cradles. Being the proud papa, he pointed out his baby boy.

"We're naming him Harry Gin." Ron said. When Ginny smiled tearfully and Remus replied, "Nice choice Ron." Ron left the couple alone with the excuse that he had to check on his wife. Remus and Ginny stood side by side and gazed down at the newest Weasley.

"He's beautiful." Ginny whispered. "So perfect."

"Perfect." Remus agreed.

_Just a fool to believe_

_She's like the wind_

_Just a fool to believe_

_She's like the wind_

Ginny looked over to Remus and said, "How amazing is this? They love each other so much to make this new life together and bring him into the world." Smiling ruefully, she added, "Did you ever think that we could've done that?"

"Yes." He answered in complete honesty.

Ginny stared at him with a shocked expression on her face. "You did? Why-why didn't you ever say so?" she asked.

Remus replied, "I thought you did too."

"I did." She whispered, then laughing bitterly. "But it's too late for that, isn't it?"

Remus took her into his arms, and Ginny barely had a moment to register what was happening when he kissed her. When they parted, he gazed down on her with a tender expression on his face and said simply:

"No it isn't."


End file.
